Thursday, January 19, 2006

another crazy blabbering

Kasama ko kagabi ang ilan sa mga malalapit kong kaibigan na sina Owen, Dee at Mon. Nanood kami ng isang movie about love and relationship and as usual...I was depressed after. Normally, other people would feel elated after seeing the movie but no...not me. I already freed myself from the clutches of day dreaming that everything is going to be alright, that someday my prince will come and save me from the stupor of my loneliness. Ha! First, I am not lonely and I don't need men.

I read this blog about sexual preferences and I was curious with the bicurious term. What if...what if...Oh my! I can't even spill it out. My system still can't imagine moi to be in it. You know. I still prefer men. As in. But how come the thought crossed my mind? I think it is just normal to sometimes feel weird like this. Or maybe 'I am' already, only that I am in denial? No, if I am then I wouldn't write that I am in denial...right? It is just like no drunkard ever admit that he is drunk or no addict ever admitted that he is. So, what this whole weird stuff makes me?

For now, while I am in the state of confussion...I tried to make myself busy and productive but how I wish my reproductive glands would get a good exercise as well. A friend tried to scare me once that if I don't use it, it'll close down permanently. Another friend told me or reminded me that I am a good girl already and should continue to do so. But what the hell! I am good and never have any bad bones in me. I may be a bitch...sometimes...only if I want to and if the circumstance calls for it, but I am an angel deep inside. Believe it...YOU B!!!

Okay...I am trying to calm down. Shhhh...Shhh. Going back, I don't want to date boys anymore. Eventhough they are about my age but most of them were acting like boys or little girls. What a
F@#K! Maybe I should consider opening a kindergarten school instead.

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