Monday, January 23, 2006
Anyway, talking about men, men in Manila are pathetic and I hope men in the provinces of Samar and Bohol are different. Different in a sense that they are more eager to please? LOL. Hmm, will it be really different or it'll be the same men but only this time it'll be men with monkey tails? (Laugh...laugh).
A friend told me that men in the provinces are more likeable and more sensitive. Well, yeah, right! I just wish he is not an HIV carrier which is very likely since we will be interacting with them. Not sexually of course! My goodness! But we might go to a beach and strut our stuff so that we could meet men...big men to complete our trip...literally and figuratively.
As I have mentioned earlier, I am looking forward for our 'trip', so eventhough we haven't signed the contract yet and haven't secured the downpayment, my things to bring lists already fills one whole page of my scratch pad. And surprise, surprise (well okay, not so much of a surprise), sunblocks and two sets of swim suits are the things on the top of my list. Third is at least two bottles of off lotion followed by a sunglasses, a cap and a turban and so on. After rereading my list, I realized that almost all things I've listed is for the sake of vanity, vanity and more vanity. *SIGH*
Looking at my glorious skin, it is already tan so no need for me to heighten my shade and besides, I don't want all those money spent on whitening products go to waste.
Aside from the adventure and fun that I have in mind, still I need to face the fact that we will be there because of work. So, I need to face my fear with habal-habal (actually is it just a motorcycle overloaded with at least ten people who are praying hard not to fall), lots of ferry boat rides without cover...as in, that's why we need the sunblocks, and lots of jeepney rides as well. *Sigh* After imagining and researching these habal-habal thingy, I think I want to change my mind now...I wish but I won't. This is another adventure I will not miss. Just like the time I went to Porac Pampanga for an integration with the Aeta community, it is where I met Ka Rick and the rest of the tribe, but the most hilarious thing I did...okay the stupiest and ignorant thing I did was when I called one minority a monkey. I truly regretted it after and I am not proud of what I did, but hey! Who can blame me? That minority was asking me why the unat people are calling them monkeys...and the smart ass me immediately answered that maybe they like bananas. So you see, it is not my fault and besides, i did not called them monkeys...not directly anyway and it is not my intention. I am trying to be defensive here...so stop laughing and sneering.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
I gave myself just two months to gather enough clients and writing assignment and it didn't took me two months to accomplish it. After three weeks or less maybe, through the help of an old buddy Owen, I was already writing for Manila Bulletin. Also, I had been able to contact the technical adviser of our college publication before and my convincing power was not even p ut to test since after I told him about what I need, I immediate got a positive answer.
So, I was alright with the flow of contacts so far, until I've met this American client who needs a PR agent. So, I asked him if I could apply...eventhough I have a vague idea on what a PR agent do. After a day, I received a confirmation email from the client and I was surprised that he accepted my application. Immediately after the good news, I rushed to DLSU's library and borrowed several books on PR, advertising and other related books about the work.
After two days, aimed with the textbook knowledge, I submitted my first proposal and it was approved. The client was satisfied with my work that he actually referred me to a new client. After a month, that same client gave me another work and this time for a project documentation of an NGO. The work at NGO will require me to travel to the remote areas of Eastern Samar and Bohol. I thought that I may not be able to deliver on time especially that the work will be tasking and also, I still have other commitments with other publications and one of them is the National Office of Mass Media- I need to submit the 48 pages radio script which until now, I'm still working, writing and polishing it. So, I asked Junie if we could be partners on this NGO work and good thing, he was up to the challenge. And now, I need to finish my 48 pages backlog, an article for Manila Bulletin, a press release for the American client, lots of coordination and lastly, I need to edit the 15 pages project report of the NGO which I volunteered to finish until Monday. I forgot to mention that the editing part is pro bono.
So, who am I to complain? After all this bruhaha of going crazy about work load and feeling exhausted, all I need to do is think of the rewards I will get after the crazy work.
Early this morning, I tried to finish at least one set of radio script to lessen the 48 pages backlog. So, I have no choice but to sleep at around two in the moring and wake up at six since I got class by eight. After my two classes which ended at 1:30, together with Candy, Mich and Jenny, we went to CCP for the theater play. After the play, we went to a bar just across CCP and drunk two bottles of beer and stuffed ourselves with food. We stayed there until ten and when we are about to leave, this drummer guy of the band playing at the bar approached me and asked for my name. Too bad he is too young and I don't to be tagged as a c raddle snatcher so I gave him my sweet smile and took my leave. In short, today is a good day...but tiring.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
I read this blog about sexual preferences and I was curious with the bicurious term. What if...what if...Oh my! I can't even spill it out. My system still can't imagine moi to be in it. You know. I still prefer men. As in. But how come the thought crossed my mind? I think it is just normal to sometimes feel weird like this. Or maybe 'I am' already, only that I am in denial? No, if I am then I wouldn't write that I am in denial...right? It is just like no drunkard ever admit that he is drunk or no addict ever admitted that he is. So, what this whole weird stuff makes me?
For now, while I am in the state of confussion...I tried to make myself busy and productive but how I wish my reproductive glands would get a good exercise as well. A friend tried to scare me once that if I don't use it, it'll close down permanently. Another friend told me or reminded me that I am a good girl already and should continue to do so. But what the hell! I am good and never have any bad bones in me. I may be a bitch...sometimes...only if I want to and if the circumstance calls for it, but I am an angel deep inside. Believe it...YOU B!!!
Okay...I am trying to calm down. Shhhh...Shhh. Going back, I don't want to date boys anymore. Eventhough they are about my age but most of them were acting like boys or little girls. What a F@#K! Maybe I should consider opening a kindergarten school instead.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Hmmm...I think the scolding will commence today...as in now na...since I am still here...doing nothing important...but fret.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
The yardstick of completeness and satisfaction really varies on a person and one determination of that yardstick is first to define it. However, its definition will still vary on who made the definition and who made the interpretation. So how would you know if you are already complete or satisfied? It looks like a stupid question, but really...How would you know?
Owen cited that it the sense of being complete and satisfied is not measured by material things. I agree. However, you could be satisfied by acquiring materials things but the satisfaction will wane after some time and you will look for new things to satisfy you. Therefore, it is going to a be a cycle.
On the 'romantic' mode (I often call it the dillussioned mode), a woman feels complete if she'll find a man to marry and have kids. If your thinking falls under this, then you are so out dated gradma. Could you not complete you? Is having someone the only escape to this habitual nuerosis of desperation and depression? Could I not say I complete myself? It sounds less complicated and fulfilling.
I feel sad...But who is not? Everybody feel sad. They just don't admit it. You feel happy now? C'mon! Stop pretending! You are sad. You must be sad enough to waste your time with your asshole boyfriend eventhough you cringed at his touch or keeping mum about your girlfriend's constant nagging. See? You are sad. Welcome to my world!
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Today, I challenged myself once again and emerged in another money making scheme of writing a script for a radio drama. The challenge is, I don't know how...But as expected, I will not admit it, so the brazen moi borrowed and photocopied a whole textbook on how to write a radio script just before the end of the school term last year. It pushed me to study the whole damn book over the holidays and now, after getting my story concept approved, I need to finish the 48 pages radio script until Monday next week. How am I going to do that? Fret? Go crazy, which I can't anymore...Because I admit I'm still am and if I add another crazy antic, I'll end up in the loony bin. How about sleep it off? Go on a date? Look for a fucking buddy? Rehash a boyfriend? Well, the last option is very tempting since two former beaus are sending exciting messages that promises great carnal experience to the good old moi...But I can't. I had been restricting myself to commit another pleasurable adventure since I am trying very hard...As in hard to be good. HA! I am already good...In a lot of ways but this time, chaste good? So the last option is not really feasible. Maybe the option prior to the last? Will it be acceptable...Again... For the good moi?
With the many options I got, I am again faced with a new challenge of deciding on which is which and who amongst the dark exciting options will I pursue? See? Because of the radio script challenge, I created myself with a new challenge and it will go on and on and on until I finished the radio which eventually I will because the radio manager is expecting it for production already. That's it. I'm going to pull my hair now and scream.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
I was with some MFA classmates at Kaibigan eating lunch today and when I looked at their faces, I was sad. I miss the guys guys terribly. I was trying to be friendly to my not so new classmates and indeed, I found some whom I think I could get along with...even for the whole semester but still, I can't help but to miss the old wacky faces of the MFA barkada whom I got used to for almost a year. Imagine, I was with this wacky old bunch of far-out, groovy, neurotic but happy group whom I shared my deepest darkest carnal secrets every Saturday and just after a couple of weeks, just after the holidays, they were gone. Well, not totally...I hope, but their presence made a great difference.
I miss Louie. Yes, you got it right. Eventhough we act like two immature beast sometimes and almost kill each other...with nagging silence, I still miss him. Who wouldn't anyway. You will not find another egocentric but lovable friend, right? Mich who haven't been able to finish her carnal lecture 101 yet from good old moi, Allan who started the Marabini thingy, Razel whom I still want to hear more secrets and revelations, Cherrie whom I wanted to know more, Althea my very first lung center buddy, my katsismisan even before the MFA guys guys was formed and my confidante for the more gory details of my carnal escapades and lovelife...as in, and lastly, Junie, my church buddy...AS IN (LOL), my kalokohan buddy at laging kaaway but my kakampi. Well, I don't miss Candy since she is my classmate for Literary History of the Philippines churva, so we will be sick and tired with each other's beautiful faces and great sense of humor for the rest of the term. Ha! See what I mean? Who wouldn't miss a group like the MFA guys guys?