Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Very Dredd, my rocking days!
The more we laughed, the more it killed him.Skin paints could not hide his failure to be brave.We pretended our charity healed himwhen in fact it pushed him closer to his grave. (excerpt from The Late and Hardly Lamented Canuplin by C.F. Bautista)
I remembered many years ago when I used to tag along with my rockista boyfriend for his band rehearsals. I played a good doting girlfriend with baby powder in one hand and a fresh crisply clean tshirt on the other. And amidst the screaming girls who watched him perform, I will put my possessive side forward with a subtle tag of 'Heizel's property' blinking on his forehead. (Okay, the part of baby powder is not true...I can't imagine myself playing 'slave' to a macho boyfriend.)
The time of Dredd, Mayricks and Cowboy Grill were my best, fun and wild time. I was invincible. I could do anything, whenever I want and whatever I want to. It was the time when I used to cry over Guns 'N Roses' song Don't Cry and body slam on Sweet Child of Mine. The time when
my heart raced as my boyfriend stepped on the gas pedal and speeded at 120 km/her, and the mobile patrol were at our tail for an illegal drag race (well, madami namang hinahabol nung panahon na yun dahil drag race nga, but I remembered when I tried na bumitaw at makipagsabayan sa karera. My palms were sweating when I changed gear. I looked at my companion and saw him grin and he cajoled me to step on it. A rush of adrenaline surged in my veins and I was speeding at 120 to 130 km/hr. I was screaming in delight until I saw the yellow post that served as the sign to make a turn. I panicked and suddenly stepped on the brake, but I guess it was not my time yet.
I shiver whenever I remembered my romancing with death. The drag race, the race with vices and dance with danger, all these made me who I am today. The once fearless me is now another person amongst the many who is looking forward to a quiet evening. My once adventure filled life is longing for the stillness of the night where I could lay back and enjoy the pleasure of reading, but once in a while, the calling of the dream-like lights mingled with a cloud of cigarette smoke and loud rock music hung in the air, swirling heavily enticing me to again taste that fearless nights, just like before.